I wish I was more like Andrew. He skates really good. And when he’s not skating he’s filming stuff. For some reason I just take pictures. Actually, I know why I just take pictures, it’s because I grew up a photographer. Video cameras didn’t even exist when I was growing up. That’s how my mind works. I think “photo” before I think “video.” But if I plan to survive in this economy I better get my shit together and start thinking “video” before “photo.” Because look at this video Andrew made during our Adidas trip to Berlin. It’s very nice. Why didn’t I make a video like this? It wasn’t like I had anything else to do. I’ll tell you why: it’s because I was drunk. Drunk on German beer and sucking German cock on Wiener Street. I’m just kidding. About the drunk part. We really did hang out on Wiener Street, though. It was right behind our apartments. (There was a Wiener behind us the whole time we were in Berlin?) It was a big street. Really hard. The sidewalk, that is. Anyway, I made a video of our Berlin trip, too, but you have to watch Andrew’s first. I think he filmed this all with his phone? This is Adidas after all, not Nike—oh ZONG! I’m kidding, chill out. Jesus. Look for more ridiculous German posts here this week, and read the full story in the next issue of King Shit. Thanks Andrew. I owe you a German beer on Wiener Street. —DAVE CARNIE

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